I’m the first. (ahhhhh!!) The thought terrifies me at some level. I’ve always been content to sit back and watch others go first, take the risk. Then I’ll follow after seeing their example. I’m always scared of going first. Being the new person to enter unknown territory. Or I was until recently. I’ve change a lot this year. In some ways not so much for the better. I have less patience for one. In a lot of ways I guess my work self has improved. I’m more driven to be as good as I can be. I want to know and excel at what I do. I used to be a very anxious person, circumstances have changed that. I’m maybe too calm about some things, but I’ve learned there isn’t much I can’t handle in the long run. It’s hard to look to the next year without looking at the past one. With the support from friends I’ve felt comfortable to work, and grow. A lot has happened this year. Many good, some truly horrendous.
In a lot of ways SL saved my sanity this year. It brought me quite a bit of grief too, but when I was really down it helped.
I love what I do. I love creating in SL. I love that people enjoy my work. I spend countless hours working to make things I can be proud of, and I feel that it is finally starting to show through. I have loved improving my work and seeing the rewards have been fantastic. I know that the long hours, missed things have been worth it. I’m able to provide for my daughter all by myself. There isn’t much better of a reward really.
That day those 4… gosh four *years* ago, when I saw a chair and messaged my friend Corbin and asked him to help me make a chair in SL. Who knew it would come to this. Rushing home from RL work to get to maya classes in SL. Staying up alllll night just to finish things on a deadline. I would like to say I’m more organised now, but that would be a total lie.
So on to the next 365 days. What will it bring?
I hope it brings being settled. Right now I have the happy, I just want it to be a storybook ending for my messy not-so-fairytale journey. I really love the way things are right now. Despite everything I have a perfectly well adjusted and very happy child in RL, I have a thriving business I’m proud of, and I have someone with me that I can count on and trust. The road to this point was a total mess. I might have alienated some people, and some people I got involved with were definitely not a good idea, and others I regret hurting. I made huge mistakes, but I’ve learned from them. I can’t always look back, it’s time to look forward.
I kinda like this new me. It’s maybe not where I planned to be when I started out, but it’s pretty awesome all the same. 🙂
(Apologies for the total cheese. I warned you guys it was sappy lol)